Modern Loneliness – How Do We Disconnect Right Now

After listening to a recent episode of Your Undivided Attention (“People are Lonelier than Ever. Enter AI.“), I found myself reflecting on how much our environment shapes the way we experience loneliness.

Until recently, I thought of loneliness as something rooted in the past — a response to early separation, loss, or emotional neglect. And while I still believe that to be true, I’m becoming increasingly aware (as many others are) of a different kind of loneliness — what we might call modern loneliness — one that stems from how we live right now.

Often disguised as hyper-connectivity, modern loneliness creeps in quietly. It doesn’t always feel like isolation, but rather a persistent sense of emptiness or disconnection. For example:

  • As people move farther from home, the distance can bring deep emotional pain and an a silent sense of longing.
  • We carry multiple identities – cultural, personal, and social – and while these can enrich our lives, they can also leave us feeling lost, frustrated, or unsure of who we truly are.
  • With so much of our communication happening online, genuine human connection can feel just out of reach, heightening social anxiety and the sense that we’re never quite enough.

It’s no wonder that our mental health and sense of self are impacted in such profound ways.

Curious to see how these thoughts lined up with broader research, I revisited The Loneliness Experiment – a large-scale study led by Claudia Hammond for the BBC in 2018. One finding, in particular, stood out: young people are the group who feel loneliest

“40% of 16 to 24-year-olds who took part told us they often or very often feel lonely, compared with 27% of over 75s. We saw higher levels of loneliness in young people across cultures, countries, and genders.”

This reinforced what I’ve come to observe both personally and in my clinical work: many young people feel deeply isolated, misunderstood, or unseen. Some are so glued to their phones that they’ve developed a constant fear of missing out. Even homework is now mostly online, making screen time inescapable – it’s been wired into the fabric of their daily lives.

Still, I want to remain hopeful. By growing awareness and speaking more openly about this modern epidemic, I believe we can begin to create change – together.


Here are three simple mindful practices that can help counteract some of the symptoms of modern loneliness:

1. When distance from home brings emotional pain and silent longing:
“Memory Touchstone” Practice
Choose a small object that connects you to your sense of home – a stone, a photo, a piece of fabric, a recipe card. Hold it in your hand for a few minutes each day. As you breathe slowly, let the memories and emotions arise. Acknowledge whatever you feel – longing, grief, warmth, pride – and let it be there without needing to change it. This anchors your roots while creating a safe, embodied space for emotional presence.

2. When carrying multiple identities feels overwhelming or confusing:
“Who Am I, Right Now?” Practice
Sit quietly for 3–5 minutes and bring your attention to your breath. Then gently ask yourself: Who am I, right now, in this moment?
Notice what arises – sensations, emotions, images, roles. Let them come and go, without clinging or rejecting. Repeat the question a few times. This practice helps soften the rigidity of identity and allows space for your many layers to coexist without conflict.

3. When online communication leaves you anxious or not enough:
“Offline Presence Pause” Practice
Before (or after) spending time online, take a mindful pause. Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Take five slow breaths. With each breath, remind yourself: I am not a profile. I am a person. I am here.
This simple grounding helps you return to your embodied self – not as seen through screens, but as felt in real life.